Return Of The Theo

Theo Epstein, Boston's boy wonder, has resigned, not be confused with resigned, as the GM of the Boston Red Sox, putting an end to the experiment of having co-GMs. But was he really ever gone? I have a theory on this. I don't think he ever really left. I think it was a big elaborate ruse to dupe the Red Sox Nation into thinking that their beloved Theo isn't the one responsible for allowing part of the heart and soul of the Sox (Damon) to leave Beantown. He probably wasn't in the grand scheme of things, but I don't think he wants the finger pointed at him for a decision outside of his control. I believe he probably wanted to keep Damon in the Nation, but his decision was likely vetoed by the rest of the front office. So this whole elaborate scheme was cooked up for everyone to save face and to have Theo return as if he were Mighty mouse, yelling "Hear I come to save the day!!" I have an idea of how the conversation went. If the Yankees are the "Evil Empire," that would make the Red Sox "The Rebels." Here is my opinion of how events unfolded and a "fictional" conversation that took place. Mind you, none of this is based on any kind of fact, it's just a theory of mine. One that can't be proved, or disproved for that matter, so it is certainly possible:
Anakin Epstein: You called for me Master Larry?
Master Larry: Mmmm. Yes. Asked to see you, I did. Talk to you, I must, about Johnny Damon.
Anakin Epstein: Yes. The force is strong with him. We must do all within our power to prevent him from joining the Darkside.
Master Larry: The force is strong with Young Damon, but let him go, we must.
Anakin Epstein: With all due respect Master Larry, I disagree. We cannot allow Darth Steinbrenner to bring Damon to the Evil Empire.
Mater Larry: Mmmm. Disagree, I do.
Anakin Epstein: I'm sorry Master. But I cannot have any part of allowing Johnny to join the Darkside. I ask that you reconsider.
Mater Larry: Consider, I have. Afford him, we cannot.
Anakin Epstein: But Master Larry, Johnny helped us to defeat the Evil Empire in 2004. We must reward him.
Master Larry: Reward him, we cannot. Let him go we must. He must follow the same path as those before him. Pedro. Derek Lowe. Nomar. Go he must. As must, Kevin Millar and Bill Mueller. Approved of this, has Master Henry.
Anakin Epstein: Sorry, Master. I can have no part of this. The Nation will want my head.
Master Larry: Mmmm. Idea, I have. Be part of the dismantling of the Nation, you will not be. Help rebuild, you will.
Anakin Epstein: Master, I do not understand.
Master Larry: Explain, I will. The Nation, you will leave. To the Degobah system, you will go. Jedi Hoyer and Jedi Cherington, for you, they will speak. From Degobah, the decisions, you will make. When all is done, you will return. Never know, will the Nation. Rejoice they will, when you return. Their savior, you will be. Know of this, they will not. Mmmm.
Anakin Epstein: I understand my Master.
And now, 80 some-odd days later, Theo is back and the Nation is rejoicing like the Ewoks did when the Rebels blew up the Death Star. If this happens to be true, then it would be one of the most brilliant PR moves in the history of PR moves. "Mmmm. Ingenious it would be." The Nation is probably jumping for joy and have already forgot about Johnny leaving for greener pastures. I hate to say it Sox fans, but you've been punked!! Brilliant.
I would love for a Sox fan to explain to me why every time a Sox player's contract comes up, the player rarely if ever, is resigned (except for Arroyo who gives up the home team discount). Pedro? Lowe? Damon? Millar? Mueller? Nomar? For all intents and purposes, Manny? Does the team not want to spend the money, or do the players want to get out of the Nation? Most of the Nation wants to believe so badly that their ship is on the right course, especially with Captain Theo back at the helm. Personally, I don't think everything is as rosy as it seems. It all just seems a little odd and a little shady. I don't buy what the Sox are selling.
May the Force be with You and Long Live The Empire!!
J