Grand Theft Auto: Tampa Bay Beatdown

Gary Sheffield beats up a hooker and shoots a rocket launcher at Legends Field?? See it happen in Rockstar Games' latest installment in their Grand Theft Auto series, Grand Theft Auto: Tampa Bay Beatdown. Play the game as Gary Sheffield, and work your way through intricate missions, trying to fight your way through the mean streets of Tampa Bay, taking down local kingpin George Steinbrenner's lackeys and middlemen, in an attempt to have a "sitdown" with the Boss.
Now that would be an awesome video game. Just imagine if that were real. For those of you that are familiar with GTA, I'm sure you can picture it in your mind.
Gary Sheffield says he's trying to meet with the being Boss but is being "blocked by Steinbrenner's middle men." Umm, hello? Earth to Gary: the Yankees don't want you around. The writing is on the wall. Can't you take a hint? Can it be any clearer?
Here's some quotes from Gary:
"My situation, honestly, the truth about it, I never was comfortable. I was always feeling a little insecure about where I fit here and where I belonged, or do they want me here? And I had to play on those terms, and I was being a man about it and going out and trying to do my job under the conditions."
On trying to meet with Steinbrenner: "If it wasn't for his health, I'd have made that conversation happen, but my situation ain't worth that to me. You've got middle men blocking him. ... They get in the way and their personal feelings get in the way."
And my personal favorites: "I've produced ever since I got here. If it wasn't for me the first year, in 2004, we wouldn't have made the playoffs. I went out and put up big numbers against Boston for us to win that division. ... It wasn't some mystery man. It was myself." and "Everybody knows when I go to another team, I'm coming back looking for you. That's just the way it is. The Dodgers, that happened. The Marlins, it happened. When you let me go, I've got a chip on my shoulder, and I'm coming with it. That's how I play the game."
Excuse me for a few moments while I recover from a bust gut. Somebody tell me how Gary fits his giant head through a door? Talk about ego. We all should remember the comments he made 2 years ago about Jeter and A-Rod. For those that forgot:
"I know who the leader is on the team, I ain’t going to say who it is, but I know who it is. I know who the team feeds off. I know who the opposing team comes in knowing they have to defend to stop the Yankees. I know this. The people don’t know. Why? The media don’t want them to know. They want to promote two players in a positive light, and everyone else is garbage. Jeter is our captain. He’s not the leader. He’s the captain."
Why Gary Sheffield is a baseball player and not a stand up comic, I'll never know. He could win "Last Comic Standing" without even trying. I really hope the Yankees stick it up Gary's you know what, and without using any vaseline when they do it. Ice Cube style for the gangstas out there. I hope they send him to Kansas City or Pittsburgh. Or better yet, keep him on the Yankees and let him ride the bench all year. Don't even give him an AB. Gary is obviously a clubhouse cancer and he needs to be ousted with the quickness. I really hope Cashman makes this happen soon so we can be done with him. They should have let him walk and go to Boston and let him stink up that clubhouse.
Here's a quote from me: "Hey Gary. Go (expletive deleted) yourself. Dooshbag."
J