A Heaping Case Of The Heebie Jeebies

Due to Wednesday night softball, I missed most of the game last night. Jason from Heartland Pinstripes was again kind enough to hook me up with a post. Scroll way down to read it.

Our game ended early because we trounced them 16-4 and it was stopped due to the mercy rule, so I thought I'd get to catch some of the game. Unfortunately for me, my wife needed me to stop at one of the most vile, disgusting places known to man....Walmart. nothing grosses me out more than walking into a Walmart. I try to avoid it whenever possible, which is pretty much all the time. But my wife ordered some child gates from them and had them shipped to the store and I had to pick them up. Saying I was unhappy about it was an understatement. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot I was greeted by sheer stpuidity. I was driving down the aisle and a car was coming from the other direction. The idiot behind the wheel decided it was best to pass me on my right. My right's the passenger side! WTF??? How can someone be so stupid? Seriously. I don't know what it is about Walmart but the second I walk through the door I feel like I need a bath. I almost want to wear a surgical mask because I get the feeling I might catch some weird disease like SARS or something. Man it gives me the heebie jeebies. What's worse is you have to walk through the entire store to get to the pick-up area. So I get back there and of course there's no one there. So I push the little button (I so did not want to touch it) and waited.....and waited.....and waited....and waited some more. I pushed the button a total of 4 times and waited 11 minutes before someone finally showed. My skin was crawling. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I don't know how people can shop there. I know their prices are occasionally cheaper, but to me it's just not worth it. I'd much prefer rolling into a Target and give them some extra cash just to avoid the skeeviness that is Walmart. I'll pay extra for the cleanliness. Besides, Target's employees are light years ahead of the vast majority of Walmart's in terms of personality and personal hygiene. They at least give off the appearance that they bathe on a regular basis. It's an added plus that they employ a lot of younger people and not old hags. No offense to you old hags out there, but I much prefer looking at cute chicks, and the occasional hot dude. Kidding about the hot dude. Or am I? I am.....long pause......not. No, I really am. Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now.

After getting home from that suckhole, I immediately had to decontaminate myself with a long hot shower. After that, I spent some time trying to figure out if my wife's employer jipped us out of $2800 from when she was out on maternity leave. At first I thought they did, but then I realized they didn't and I was bummed. By the time i worked that all out in my head, the game was just ending. So I missed pretty much all of it. Sounded like a good one. 10-0. Joba's 1st win as a starter. Some offense! Good times. Here's Jason from the Heartland's post. Enjoy.

Joba was the stopper indeed, buzzing through 6 2/3 IP and shutting down the Pirates 10-0, quite a reversal from last night's drubbing. The offense scored early and often, blowing it open in the sixth on homers from Cano and Abreu. Joba earned his first win as a starter, throwing another gem.

The Yanks staked Joba to a 2-0 lead right away when Jeter doubled, Abreu singled, and A-Rod walked to load the bases. Giambi's forcing out A-Rod at second scored Jeter and Abreu on an error. Jeter singled in the third, and scored again on Giambi's RBI single, 3-0, and his two-out double in the fourth plated Christian, 4-0. The Yanks blew it open in the sixth, when Cano tattooed a 2-1 fastball from TJ Beam up, 5-0. Abreu later crushed a 1-0 fastball up that nearly reached the river, 8-0. Abreu's double in the eighth scored Betemit, 9-0, and Melky's RBI single plated Christian, 10-0. Nice to see them work over lefty Zach Duke and the Pirates bullpen.

Jeter was 3-3 with 3 runs and his 33rd RBI, batting .286 now. Abreu was 3-5 with 2 runs and 4 RBIs, his 50th to lead the team along with his 10th homer, and is hitting .279. Cano was 3-5 with his 5th homer, and is up to .241. Giambi was 1-4 with 2 driven in, at 44 RBIs now, hitting .266. Melky was 2-5 with his 32nd RBI, and is batting .254. Although the Yanks stranded 10, 5 in scoring position, they plated six two-out runs, a good ratio. With 16 hits and 6 walks, the Yanks were all over the bases.

But Joba's domination was the key tonight, never letting Pittsburgh get on track. He got some help from Abreu in the second. After retiring two after two singles to start the inning, Joba allowed a single to Wilson to right that Abreu got charging on the short hop, and easily gunned out Doumit at the plate by a good 15 feet. Joba worked a 1-2-3 third and fourth, avoided trouble in the fifth, skirted Doumit's two-out double in the sixth, and exited after back-to-back two-out singles in the seventh. The final line was very impressive: 6 2/3 scoreless IP, 6 H, 1 BB and 7 K's, with the slider especially nasty and Joba still throwing 97 and 98 in the seventh. Congrats to Joba for finally earning his first win as a starter. Ohlendorf fanned three in 1 1/3 IP, and Veras finished up.

The Yankees are up to six games over .500 at 42-36, and keep pace with victorious Boston and Tampa Bay, 5 1/2 games back. Win the series tomorrow, guys. Keep moving up.